What to do when you encounter obstacles in your movement practice.

I’ll never forget the first time that I was in an ecstatic dance workshop and didn’t feel the utter joy, glee, clarity, breakthrough, and Divine Oneness that had marked all of my movement experiences for the two years prior. For three, long days, I felt like I was slogging through mud with a blindfold on, searching in vain for The Light. You know: The Light. The one that makes life completely perfect, zero flaws. Where had it gone? It didn’t help that others in the workshop kept engaging me when all I wanted to do was be on the floor alone and crawl around a lot. By Sunday evening, when we were winding down, I was spent, confused, and feeling alone. Now that the honeymoon period was clearly over, I wondered if I should come back to class again. If the practice didn’t bring me joy, why bother?

To this day, that weekend serves as one of my most remarkable teachers. It acts as a benchmark for me in all aspects of my life, serving as a reminder that the old adage “our shadows remind us that there is light” is not only true, but a marker of growthful spiritual practice. It consistently reminds me that the elusive concept of joy comes in all forms – even, yes, through adversity. And, it uncovers the truth that my reluctance to speak out about my internal suffering contributes to its lingering.

The Questions Arise
Over the course of the past few months, I have heard from many of our fellow BodyMantra practitioners about a similar, emerging story: My buttons have been getting pushed and I don’t know quite how to, or if I want to, deal with those situations. Immediately following these courageous reflections, I often sense the unspoken question: Is it time for me to bow out, stop coming, because I’m not feeling comfort, ease, and/or safety anymore? This is one of the most valuable questions one could ask, as part of a community that requires us to show up not just to move together, but to learn and grow together as well.

BodyMantra is about relationship. Relationship to self, to others, and to our spiritual path. Sure, we’re here to move our bodies and open to the play and pleasure of that experience, but we’re also here to open to material that has yet to be uncovered – the unknown material that is ultimately the most fertile seed for personal growth. When we engage in a mindful practice like BodyMantra, experiences of all kinds are bound to rattle loose at one point or another.

I just wanted to be by myself, and someone carelessly moved into my space.

Someone touched me and I don’t like to be touched.

My mind wouldn’t stop chattering, so I couldn’t get into my body experience.

Someone of the opposite sex was too forward in their movement with me.

I really needed to be held and nobody came to help me.

I had emotions come up that I’ve never felt before and have no idea how to deal with.

I was rejected when I tried to engage someone.

From these experiences stem a myriad of questions. My response in each situation boils down to a singular belief that all of these delicate issues are valid – the stuff that serves to build strong, mature communities – and each and every one of us is responsible for cultivating awareness and discussion of them. We must tend equally to our individual and interactive experiences in order for the community to thrive.

Patience Is A Virtue
As individuals moving within a group, it is imperative that we observe and evolve our relationship to self-growth. The maturity of a community depends on the ever-developing maturity of its constituents. As we each step into unchartered territory of our own, we are bringing that wisdom and learning to the collective.

When we face the unfamiliar or uncomfortable, it is common to want to escape, avoid, or rationalize our way out of staying present. It could show up in the form of a wandering mind that makes you think you might as well leave early, because things ‘aren’t working.’ Or perhaps you are struggling with fatigue and don’t want to let yourself rest because you came to get a good workout. Or you find that deep emotion is welling up and threatens to cause a river of tears that you are afraid to let flow.

Certainly, we can choose to push through, walk away from, or repress our experiences. However, the BodyMantra practice is about identifying these tendencies and cultivating the skill to dissolve them and allow for surrender to emerge. This requires patience. Patience to listen. Patience to feel discomfort. Patience to learn new ways of being. As we develop the patience with our Self, we are laying the groundwork to bring the same level of understanding and compassion to our experience in the larger group.

Practicing Body Language
As part of a community, we are necessarily weaving our individual expression into the greater tapestry of the group. As we deepen our personal practice, we are simultaneously learning how to convey the tone of our inward experience to others.

Closed eyes, separating from the group, and moving away from people that are actively engaging can all serve as cues that you wish to have your own, inward experience. In these situations, reflect as to whether or not your choice of body language authentically supports your process, rather than it acting as a default to avoid the challenges of interaction with others that might arise. Foster self-fueled growth with this inquiry.

Opening your eyes and traveling through the center of the room lets others know that you wish to engage. Should you decide to engage externally, additional levels of awareness are required. If your eyes are open and you are moving around the room, you must take in the body language of those people that have made choices not to engage and respect those choices; your willingness to engage does not necessitate that others do the same. Remember that everyone’s definition of interaction differs, so be willing meet others in their comfort zones. Invoke Beginner’s Mind and treat each experience and person as new – rather than gauging your choices on past experience alone.

The fact of the matter is that, despite our best efforts to be sensitive to subtle body language, we are going to make a choice from time-to-time that causes doubt or friction. It is impossible for a large group people to read every signal and initiate the perfect response every time. This is why regular practice becomes our greatest ally, assisting us to hone our body language skills and sensitivities. This is the foundation of BodyMantra.

That all said, body language alone sometimes isn’t enough. This is when the power of the spoken word comes into play.

Speak Up
Having participants that are prepared to speak up is a critical part of the overall health of any relationship or community. This includes the full range of expression – from ‘I felt so safe because…’ to ‘I didn’t feel comfortable when…’.

It may start with a timid tap on the facilitator’s shoulder to let them know what you are experiencing. It may be that you feel strong enough to approach another community member to start a dialogue about something that felt uncomfortable for you. It could be that someone approaches you with a concern. Or, it may be that we all discuss a topic at the end of a class so that we are reminded that we are working together to spur our growth as individuals and as a community. In any of these scenarios, compassion and openness must be present; a willingness to hear all perspectives so that diversity and understanding come to bear.

We’re In This Together
In all of these cases, I advocate the importance of community participation. Be willing to speak your body and mind, both shadow and light. We must all act as both leaders and followers as we consciously craft an environment where we can all feel safe to express, to explore, and to question. This article is just a start – an offering – so that we all can feel more courage to dive into the deeper waters of BodyMantra as time passes. I am fully present to the expansion we are experiencing as a group and welcome your feedback as we grow.