This is an excerpt from a paper written by BodyMantra participant Zubin Mistri, entitled Transformation at the Bones: Embodied Awareness & Social Action.

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Zubin: … I remember you expressing [at the BodyMantra inauguaral event] that this was the official beginning of something that had been emerging over time. I was wondering what made that time feel right for you to say: “Okay, this is my personal, unique body of work and I’m going to give it a name and start putting it out there.” Can you talk about the evolution that brought you to that point?

Kimberly: It’s probably been evolving in me since I was born because I did performance when I was growing up and then I danced all the time, I sang opera in the house, and made my parents roll their eyes and say, “Oh God there she is singing opera again!” [Laughter] And then I got away from it and boy did my body change. So many things about my body, and then of course my psyche, changed. And then, ten years ago, I went to a Nia class. [Nia is a movement-practice informed by martial arts, dance, and healing arts movement forms] At that time it served me because I just needed to have some structure to get back in my body. I also started practicing yoga and mediation again, and then I [began] teaching Nia and Yoga [and Soul Motion] and I just started getting very excited about being back in my body.

What started happening about two years ago, as I was teaching Soul Motion, is [that] I started realizing I was having trouble because I was trying to channel Vinn [founder/creator of Soul Motion], as opposed to God or the Divine or whatever you want to call it. It started to become a little bit of a rub, and so I started finding my own voice. And for some reason I just happen to be the kind of person and facilitator where I don’t do very well studying or reading a book and spitting the same things out. I never have been. Some people are great at that. I finally admitted this to myself, instead of seeing it as a negative. And at that point it became untenable for me to try to speak someone else’s words.

Granted, I suppose I could have said “I’ll take those words and I’ll make them my own and do my own thing,” but that didn’t work for me. So it just started evolving and the last year was spent coming up with a name. Really thinking about how my work was unique, and giving it a voice. One thing led to another and things just started coming into place—the name, the website.

Zubin: So finding your authentic voice made things feel easier?

Kimberly: Oh yeah! Now it’s very interesting. It’s like there’s just no resistance in my body. I mean, I have resistance around other things related to the practice. But as far as what I speak and my intentions when I come to class [the resistance isn’t there]. I don’t have to teach a certain principle, and a certain body of work. Again, I realize that for some people that exists, and that’s a viable model, and I’m just different.

Zubin: …it sounds like the freedom is more right for you?

Kimberly: Yes, and for me it was coming back into the body that started to kick this force forward. I don’t think I could have thought this up if I were still doing other things, corporate things, with my life like I had been. I really had to be in my body expression to feel that.

Zubin: Maybe we could flesh out a bit your approach in working with the body. There’s a lot of different kinds of attention given to the body in our culture from fitness trends and cosmetics to the health industry. What is the quality of mind or attention or relationship with body you’re trying to encourage in the work you do?

Kimberly: The phrase that comes to mind is “mirror-less reflection.” [Kimberly covers the mirrors in her classes]. I think we spend so much time asking “what do I look like?” or “how do I look standing next to this person?” that we get off track a lot. Getting stuck in my mind is another “off-the-track” thing. Really spinning around up here in my head and not really listening.

There’s something about deep listening in the body. It seems like such an oxymoron. “You want me to hear my body?” When I close my eyes, I believe the inner ear, way inside, is actually reverberating deep inside the body along the length of the spine. We have to be willing to hollow that out a little bit, to go to a deeper place. It’s a little like crawling into cave, you know, the scary part where you have to get down on your knees and belly and kind of shimmy your way in. Then there are caves that spit you out into these amazing places after you’ve done all that crawling. Places with beautiful water and crystals. That’s the promise of a practice where you allow yourself to squeeze through that tight place and then arrive in the deep.

Zubin: I have a specific question about teaching. I’m curious about how you see your role of teacher/facilitator, in a general sense and then in class too. How are you relating to the room and yourself and the process in class?

Kimberly: I’ll start on with the general and then funnel it down, because that’s how it works for me. For me it is about facilitation. The word teacher is used a lot in this world. Sometimes I use that word because it’s accepted, but mostly my feeling is that we’re all teachers. Mostly my design is to facilitate people to find their own teacher within. And I know that sounds really cliché, but it’s what I’m doing. And also to help people to find the teacher in everyone.

So I really see myself more as a—what are those dogs called that run around and coralle the horses? You know they run around and bark around the horses and just get them to kind of form a shape. [Laughter]. That’s exactly how I feel. Well, maybe that’s not such a good analogy.

Zubin: [laughter] A shepherd dog?

Kimberly: Yeah, shepherding. That’s a great word. Because I don’t purport to have any answers. I have plenty of thoughts and opinions and that’s what I want to offer to get people into their own process. And they’re going to teach me, so that I can then bring that back. So it’s a constant back-and-forth. In class it’s as much about that grandiose idea that I’m just going to hold the masses, and make sure that we’re all going sort of in the same direction because that promotes safety. But at the same time I find myself consistently coming into the individual experience too.

If I become this kind of facilitator that can’t connect one-on-one with people then I’ve stopped doing my work. I [get to] know everyone’s name, but I don’t know what they do for a living, but I have a sense of what’s happening for them in that deep inner cave because they either speak to me or I witness it. And the more I can track that and bring that in and, even if they don’t know it, shine the spotlight on them, so that they feel like they’re heard, [the better]. That then explodes out into the bigger picture again. I hone in on a few people and really connect and try to understand what’s happening for them, and then use that as an instrument for the bigger teaching, the bigger facilitation. So there’s this constant narrowing to the individual and then opening to the room. Back and forth. Sometimes it leans one way or the other more, it just depends on what’s happening.

Zubin: The other aspect I think about related to [who the work reaches] is how much is known. You know, not knowing what the person who is in class does outside of class—who they talk to and how they influence the next person.

Kimberly: I was just thinking about Obama and what happened this election. That’s a really good example of how you never know who is going to make the difference. The story of his campaign was all about the small $5 donations and how that grew into  millions and millions of people. He never presumed that any one person was better than another. But he stayed open to whoever was there to support him. For me, that’s a great teaching and inspiration about knowing that you’re going to affect all sorts of people all different ways, and all you can do is stay true to your voice, and the people who are supposed to show up will show up, and the people who oppose you will show up to push against you and get your voice to be more clear.