If only we could just lead a perfectly-rosy life, unfettered and clear of all obstacles and pain. Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll take one of those to go, please.

Though this is a nice image, and we often get to take a ride into that world through moviescapes and novels, it does not genuinely and fully plumb the depths of possibility that exist for each of us. There is a reason why we live in a world marked by duality. Gray skies help us to appreciate sunny skies. Fitful nights remind us to embrace nights of good rest. Our pain is present in order to reflect the brilliance of our joy. And yet, even as the mirrors of duality remind us what might be on the other side our our experience in this moment, there is always a offering for us to stand naked in the place of Not Knowing.

When we stand in this place of Not Knowing – where all we have is the experience and expression of ourselves in the moment – we open to unknown possibility and astonishing outcome. This is not always a comfortable place. It can be accompanied by an oft-chided teacher: pain. Suffering. Created by and in our minds; our strong minds that want to know, down to the minute and second, what is going to happen, how, and when. So that we can get on with the business of living our lives. But is this really living? Having one thing all figured out (or so we think), so that we get onto figuring out the next?

I would venture to say no to that question. Our most profound opportunities for growth and joy often lie smack dab in the middle of our Not Knowing. If we embrace Not Knowing as a teacher – including the feelings of pain, discomfort and confusion that oftentimes accompany it – we open to a fullness of experience that the one-dimensionality of an I’ve-already-got-it-figured-out life does not offer.

How do we invite this dis-ease to move through our bodies, to inform us, without feeding into a downward spiral? Presence. We stay present to the sensation of pain – how it manifests in our bodies and what emotions arise as a result – rather than projecting stories about what it means and where it is going to lead. We drop into a trust, however elusive at times, that the waves of sorrow and confusion are guiding us to a safe harbor where the life we can’t even possibly imagine awaits us. Where our pain gives way to tremendous curiosity and joy as we melt into the organic, unplanned, unknown-ness of each moment.

From Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.